New Home for BWE Promotions

Blog Wrestling Entertainment will now be posted on Basic Bloganomics.

For those who followed us over here on BWE, we thank you checking us out. Both BWE Throwdown! and EBW UnCut will be posted on Basic Bloganomics, so check it out over there. We should resume posting BWE blogs on Basic Bloganomics very soon.

Thank you,

David Funk

KDL Named GM for BWE Throwdown!

High Point, NC(AB)- Ken D. Long, better known as KDL for short, has been named interim General Manager of BWE Throwdown! by CEO David Funk.

Long, a former Army veteran and current jewelry owner, had previously signed on with BWE in September.

The next BWE Throwdown! show will take place live from Mo's Tavern in Boston, which is home of the new BWE Heavyweight Champion morrisseyweb.

This comes as a somewhat surprising move in BWE, but the CEO is confident that the correct decision was made here.

"I have zero doubt that KDL will do a fine job as GM," says Funk. "He's very entertaining, but also takes no crap from anyone. If I were everyone in BWE, I wouldn't get on his bad side."

Long's first day on the job will be at the upcoming Throwdown! show live from Boston.

BWE Under Investigation

High Point, NC(AB)-Blog Wrestling Entertainment(BWE) Promotions is under investigation for undisclosed reasons.

It has been heavily rumored that BWE has violated a policy for underage bloggers. In the policy, it states that no one under the age of 18 is allowed to participate in the promotion or allowed a contract.

The NCAA has reportedly communicated this to the BWE Board of Directors as an infraction on the promotion's part. It is still unclear as to what the promotion is under investigation for.

In September at the Blogger's Rumble! Pay-For-View, BWE CEO David Funk and Sporting News could not reach agreement on a new deal to keep the promotion on the site. Since that time, the promotion hasn't secured a contract with a major network community.

The BWE Board of Directors has had a very stiff reputation of handing down sanctions or penalties for violating policies in the promotion. Also, this is a case where the Supreme Court or federal government may get involved.

A little over a year ago, Funk almost lost his promotion. But it was later learned that the positive drug test he had for the blog enhancer Insanelozol was falsified. Insanelozol is now a legal prescription.

One source has said that BWE has worked on rewriting the policy for underage bloggers, but that it didn't pass government approval. They were originally looking at adding parental consent to the policy to protect underage bloggers.

No one that's directly involved with this has been reached for comment on this matter.

EBW UnCut

The following is Rated R (extreme violence & language).
Closed Captioning where available by pressing the CC button on your controller!Now available in HD via a high-definition tuner!

Note: The matches are truly fictional and scripted. They are not meant to put any team, player, or member down, and this is just for fun. This is scripted, so the outcome of the matches might not be what you expect in trying to put together entertainment for members and fans. Thank you for joining us for the show. Enjoy.

LIVE from the 3rdStone Monument is Washington DC!

(“Rise Today” by Alter Bridge plays as the opening video hits. Immediately afterward, spotlights search the arena in lieu of the traditional opening pyro. The reason for the missing fireworks is soon revealed, as “Famous” by Puddle of Mudd hits and a confused capacity crowd looks to the stage to see the EBW GM Paul Huffaker making his way to the ring, flanked by the EBW Heavyweight Champion guardian of the galaxy, Yankees3Fan7, and soadrules.)

Joe Payne: Welcome to UnCut, boys and girls. I’m Joe Payne, and I’m the new voice of EBW! I’ll tell you more about how I got the job in a little bit. As you can see, the GM is coming to the ring, and I hope he can explain what has been going on in EBW recently. For those who may have missed it, Paul came out during the Draft Show while Yankees3Fan7 was attacking Management Director detroitsports. We thought he was coming to stop the beating, but instead attacked his management partner and instructed Y3F7 to finish off dsports. We are still trying to find out the condition of the “Rock City Legend,” and will keep you updated here at the BWE Promotions website! Paul’s taken a microphone; let’s hear what he has to say.

Paul: I have been hearing the same thing everywhere I’ve been. “Paul, how could you allow that beating of your friend detroitsports?” And I’m sure many of you are wondering why the three superstars are standing behind me tonight. You see, I’ve been GM of EBW for over a year now, and do you know what I’ve seen happen to my creation since its inception? Nothing but chaos. Anarchy. Mayhem. The rules have not just been broken, they’ve been completely obliterated! No one seems to care to play by the rules! Admittedly, I had trouble understanding that at first, but then, I kind of…hmmm…I well, snapped. I realized a few things that helped everything make sense, and now I’m enjoying the chaos. So much so, that I decided to inject my own brand of anarchy into the mix!

I’m an agent of chaos. It…amuses me. It allows me to see who you people really are. That’s why I helped end the career of my “friend” detroitsports! That’s why I orchestrated the attack in the parking lot of the Greeter Dome several months ago that put The_Phoenix into early retirement! (Big heel pop) That’s why I gave my endorsement to Y3F7 to ruin that “touching moment” when Lew Troop retired! (Huge heel pop) That’s why I have aligned myself with these Agents of Chaos! Look at the amazing group that is assembled behind me! You have the EBW Heavyweight Champion guardian of the galaxy! The only man who could ever defeat Lew Troop, and he did it when it counted! Get used to seeing gold around his waist!

Next, one of my very good friends, soadrules! There is a reason she is the most dominant diva in BWE Promotions! That’s not some damn slogan made up to sell a t-shirt! She is going to destroy the divas that stand in our way and anyone else for that matter! Finally, you have Yankees3Fan7. I hand-picked him to be the future of blog wrestling, but that doesn’t mean you should not fear him now! The beating he put on dsports was just a small taste of what he is truly capable of!

(Paul is nearly losing his mind here.) What I’m going to do now, is show you what I am capable of! You see, as an agent of chaos, I feel the need to reward one of my own. So tonight, Julie, you’re in a match for the BWE Women’s Championship! That’s right, it’s the Champion T&R Girl vs. soadrules! (An insane amount of heel heat for this entire segement)

(Soad looks at Paul with a look of shock and anger that she is being forced to fight her good friend for the title. That feeling is interrupted as theme music plays and Lester’s Legends comes out on the stage with a microphone in hand. Big face pop for Lester.)

Lester: Paul, I don’t know, and I don’t really care where your sudden schizophrenia has come from. There are only two things I want from you. Number one, I want to know who gave guardian that sledgehammer at Bloggers’ Rumble. And number two, I want a fair rematch for the EBW Title!

Paul (laughing somewhat manically): Fair? What does that mean? Did you not hear anything I just said? I guess you could call me a “fair” man. So here’s what I’ll do for you, Lester. If you want a championship match at No Recovery all you have to do is win tonight’s main event. Simple, right?

Lester: That’s very fair. I would feel better earning my title shot. So, if you don’t mind me asking, who’s my opponent?

Paul: I’m so glad you asked! Your opponent tonight was recently drafted to EBW. Your opponent is miatay! (Huge heel pop)

Joe: What the hell?

Lester: Are you serious?

Paul: Serious? Me? Do I look serious? Hmmm? No, you’re going to help me prove a point. Lester, you have been a consummate professional since you came to EBW. You live by a code of “morals” and “ethics.” Everyone is corruptible! All it takes is the proper…motivation. And the more, “noble” a person seems the deeper & more disturbing their dark side is. So Lester, if you want a title shot, you’ll beat that “poor, defenseless diva” to a bloody pulp! Or you can just lay down for her to make the pin. Of course, if you lose this match, you will never, ever get a title shot again! Oh, and before I forget, if miatay lays down for you, I’ll send down my Agents of Chaos to get things done, and you two will end up in a hospital, just like The_Phoenix & detroitsports. Got it?

(Lester gives the GM an icy stare as he throws down his microphone in disgust and leaves the stage to get ready for his match. The Agents of Chaos take their leave afterward, but it is clear some sort of metamorphosis has changed the GM as his manner, demeanor, and attitude are very different than anything the fans have seen.)

Joe: This is one of the most tense and unnerving moments I’ve ever witnessed in EBW. I really can’t believe our GM is going to force my EBW colleague, miatay, to compete against Lester’s Legends. This ain’t right.

Ring Announcer: The opening contest on EBW UnCut is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the EBW Lightweight Champion, wassup!

(Wassup makes his way to the ring, carrying the title by the strap. He is almost dragging the title to the ring, and is slapping hands with the fans as he makes his way to the ring.)

Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from right here in the nation’s capital! Here is 3rdStoneFromTheSun!

(Huge ovation meets 3rdStone, making his blog wrestling debut! He makes his way to the ring, where he poses for the fans before shaking hands with wassup in a show of respect.)

wassup vs. 3rdStoneFromTheSun

Joe: This could be one of the most intriguing matchups in EBW’s history. The newcomer, 3rdStone, meets the Lightweight Champion wassup. A win by 3SFTS would earn him a title shot. Bell rings and here we go! Tie-up, center of the ring. Neither man is backing off. Stalemate. They try again, but they are evenly matched and they break again. 3rd goes for it a third time, but wassup kicks him in the left shin! Another shot, this one to the right, followed by a stiff chop! Woooo! Wassup off the ropes, and there’s a flying forearm to the face! First cover of the matchup gets a one count.

3rd goes on the attack this time, firing off several punches to the face and then the gut. Wassup is doubled over, and here comes 3rd off the ropes with a knee lift! Wassup stumbles back, bounces off the ropes, and falls prey to a sick DDT! Ouch! Here’s the cover, 1-2, no! Kick out at two! Wassup is to his feet, and on the ring apron. He springs off the top rope, but 3rd must have saw him out of the corner of his eye, and he slaps his feet off the ropes! Wassup tumbles hard to the thin protective padding on the floor surrounding the ring! Wassup is slow to his feet, but 3rd is on the move! Off the ropes and through them, a suicide dive to the outside! The impact of the move forces wassup into the security barrier at ringside! 3rd has a big advantage, and he is waiting in the corner of the security barrier, on the far end. Wassup is to his feet, and turns around as 3rd charges at him and hit a running spike DDT! Oh my! I think 3rdStone wanted to permanently plant wassup into the arena floor! 3rdStone rolls into the ring, and he postures to the crowd. Wassup is back in the ring, after that sick move on the outside. Wassup comes off the ropes, as does 3rdStone. They meet in the middle, and oh no! It looks like they both had the same idea for a flying shoulder tackle, but as they met in the middle their heads cracked together and both have fallen to the mat! The ref is checking on both of them; neither has moved since. The ref is starting to count both men out, but I think he would rather just end the match and get some medical help for both men.

Hey! WTH? Two men have jumped over the security barrier and are perched on the top rope. They are motioning to the crowd, and they fly off with simultaneous elbow drops! That’s jaysfan & Geek in the Pink! They just hit the Synchronized T-DOT on the helpless Lightweight Champion and the hometown hero! They call the move the T-DOT as that is the flight code in Toronto, where they are from. The fans here are unsure what to do, but the Canadian alliance has made one helluva impact tonight. The ref has called for the bell to officially end this match.

Now what? The GM is on the stage with a microphone, and he does not appear happy… or sane.

Paul: What in the hell do you think you two are doing? You are standing in an EBW ring, and as I told you both in my office, you do not have contracts with EBW so you can’t set foot in the ring! I enjoy a chaotic interruption, and while this one was very well done, it is not of my doing, so get the hell out of my ring! What, did I stutter? I said get the hell out of my ring now, or else!!!

Joe: Jaysfan & Geek in the Pink are frustrated, but now Security is surrounding the ring. Jaysfan & Geek in the Pink appear to want to live to fight another day and are leaving the ring of their own accord. Security is escorting the Canadian alliance to the locker room, and most likely, out of the 3SM here in Washington DC.

Paul: Now that we have gotten rid of that intrusion, I have to decide whether or not to exercise my power to restart this match. Since we are in the home of American democracy, I will let you fans vote. Should I end the match now? (Big heel pop). Or should I restart the match? (Big face pop). Well, that settles it! This match is…OVER! (Big heel pop) America may be a democracy, by EBW is my dictatorship!

Result- Double DQ

(Commercial: This portion of EBW UnCut is brought to you by Nachos Grande, where fanofreds is in need of some baseball cards and is willing to trade! After UnCut, check out his collection, and help him get some needed cards!)

Joe: Well, this could be one of the most exciting encounters we’ve seen here in EBW! I’ve been waiting for this match since the inception of EBW! These two have been aligned together since the debut of EBW over one year ago, and now they must square off for the women’s gold!

Ring Announcer: The following divas match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the BWE Women’s Championship! Introducing first, the challenger! From The Great White North, here is soadrules!

(“Bodies” by Drowning Pool hits as soad makes her way to the ring to a cascade of boos. She jeers at the crowd as she climbs into the ring and poses.)

Ring Announcer: And introducing her opponent! She is the BWE Women’s Champion! Here is T&R Girl!

(T&R Girl meets a shower of boos as she makes her way to the ring, holding the championship over her head. She gets nose-to-nose with soad in the ring, separated only by the title held between them.)

BWE Women’s Championship:
T&R Girl (c) vs. soadrules

Joe: These two are about to tear each other apart! The tension is unbelievable! The bell rings, and we are all set to go! They stare down, and there’s a small chop from soadrules! T&R Girl went down like she was just shot! What the hell? Soad with the cover, 1-2-3. What? (Bell rings)

Winner and NEW BWE Women’s Champion- soadrules

Joe: Give me a break! This whole thing was a set-up? Our EBW fans just got a swift kick in the crotch by the conniving “Diva Dynasty.” That was the weakest chop I’ve ever seen, and yet T&R Girl just laid down for her friend soadrules. This is crap!

Oh my God! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! It’s loriebamafan! She is on a bee-line for the ring, and she is pissed! Lorie just took down the new Champion! CAT FIGHT! All hell has broken loose! They’re ripping and clawing at each other like hellcats! And here comes T&R Girl to pull lorie off of soadrules. And a cheap shot from T&R Girl puts lorie on the mat. The “Diva Dynasty” is on the attack, kicking and stomping at lorie. This ain’t right! Someone stop these two!

Soad is barking orders to the former Women’s Champion, and she has just taken two steel chairs from under the ring. She’s back in the ring with the chairs and she has laid one of the folding chairs on the mat and has placed the other around it. T&R Girl is arrogantly circling the groggy loriebamafan, who is being held on her feet by soadrules. A lot of trash talk here, did she actually call soadrules the “dominant diva” of EBW? Lorie just spit in T&R Girl’s face! Oh, but there’s the slap from T&R Girl, and soadrules drops lorie with the cutter right onto the steel chair! “Delicious Deception” taken to the extreme! Now what? Soad has that second chair, as lorie’s head lays on the first chair. Oh crap. The Con-chair-to! Lorie has been left lying at the feet of the new BWE Women’s Champion, as the Agents of Chaos are sending a message tonight. (Big heel heat). Let's send it to the back and EBW superstar fanofreds.

(Camera cuts backstage to fanofreds standing in front of an HDTV with the UnCut logo on it.)

fanofreds: Thanks Joe! It seems like complete and utter anarchy is breaking loose in the nation's capital, and none of it has to do with the state of the economy! Tonight, miatay is being forced to compete against a very angry, and very hungry Lester's Legends. If he wins, he gets a title shot against the EBW Heavyweight Champion. If he loses or she allows him to win, he never gets another title shot. High stakes, and joining me now is the diva who will be in the unenviable position of shaping Lester's future.

(Miatay steps into the picture, shaking a little and appearing to have been crying earlier.)

fanofreds: Mia, what is your gameplan tonight in the ring with Lester?
miatay: Game plan? I don't know what to do! I want Lester to get his title shot, especially knowing what Paul did to him at Bloggers' Rumble.
fanofreds: What do you mean?
mia: Well, I was preparing to interview the champion following the match and was going to wait for them backstage, but Paul blazed past me holding a sledgehammer. I followed him and watched him hand it to guardian. I tried to get away unnoticed, but when he saw me he told me to forget what I saw, or else. I told my friend Shawn Schrager about it, and he was about to report the story on EBW X-News, but Paul found out and fired him before the story got out. I guess this is my punishment for trying to do my job. But you know what? If I'm going down, I'm going to make sure the EBW fans know the truth!
fanofreds: That adds a new dynamic to the main event! Back to you, Joe!

(Camera cuts to a closeup of the announcer's desk.)
Joe: Well, we are kind of playing it by ear tonight. Normally, the announcers are given a general run sheet of the matches and possible segments or anticipated interruptions. My run sheet says “Expect the unexpected,” written in a quick scrawl repeatedly across the page. Not a lot to go by, huh?

Ring Announcer: Please welcome the General Manager of EBW to explain our next contest!

(Paul appears on the stage, microphone in hand, and he motions to the back for someone to come out. Quickly, four EBW superstars make their way to the ring, unsure of what is going on.)

Paul: Good, all of you can follow directions. Now then, we’re going to have a 6-Man match. Oh wait, I need two more participants. So first, let me introduce the most destructive force in the Bloggers’ Rumble! One of my Agents of Chaos, Yankees3Fan7!

(Y3F7 comes to the stage where he nods at Paul then slowly, methodically makes his way to the ring. Cold, uncaring eyes stare out at the fans and then into the ring at the four superstars waiting for him.)

Paul: And now, making his EBW debut, the Most Valuable Poster, bwsmith!

(The MVP comes through the curtain and quickly begins rubbing the fans the wrong way, snubbing their request for autographs, saying “Take it up with my agent.” He hits the ring and is quickly met by angry EBW superstars.)

Paul: Before I forget, this 6-Man match is very special. See, I’ve decided to make this a Job Hunt match. What that means is, the 6 of you will be fighting for your job in EBW. One of you will be fired at the end of the match! Of course, if you are the last person to get a pinfall or submission before the 15-minute time limit expires, you could save your job. It’s a scramble to save your job! Ring the bell and start the clock!

Job Hunt:
Yankees3Fan7 vs. bwsmith vs. REIGNBLOOD
vs. gymrome vs. dking97 vs. Fbkid

Joe: WTH? A Job Hunt? Someone is going to lose their job here tonight? Why do I sound like a freaking parrot suddenly? The bell rings, and the time clock has been positioned on the E-Screen, and we are underway. Our GM is really pushing the limits of his authority here! Y3F7 just punched gymrome right in the mouth, and Reignblood is going after “e”bwsmith! And Fbkid is squaring up with dking97! Fbkid runs at dking, who ducks him, and Kid goes flying over the top rope! There are no eliminations in this match, and it’s every man for himself. Y3F7 just kicked gymrome right below the belt! I guess there are no DQs in this one. Reign has smith by the throat, and he chokeslams him to the mat! Cover, 1-2, but dking breaks it up! Y3F7 is choking gymrome. What kind of person has Y3F7 become? Reign kicks smith, and dking throws in a kick for good measure! They are stomping the hell out of bwsmith! Looks like the MVP will need some R&R after this match, and he could very well be fired at the end of this match.

13 minutes left as…Oh my! Fbkid climbed up to the top rope and came off with a sensational crossbody taking out all 5 men! Here’s the cover on dking97, 1-2-3! Fbkid15 is in control of his own future as he has what our GM is calling the “special contract!” Fbkid does not have to be pinned or submitted in order to lose that “special contract.” And bwsmith just rolled over on top of gymrome, cover 1-2-3! Now it’s bwmith25 who has the “special contract!” Fbkid never saw it happen. There is roughly 11:30 left in the match! Reignblood is up, and he puts a big boot in the face of bwsmith! Reign’s going to teach him to respect the veterans of EBW! Reign has him and nails him with a clothesline. Y3F7 from behind with a chop block on dking, and Fbkid is on the hop, as he leaps onto gymrome’s shoulders and flattens him with a seated senton! Cover, 1-2, kick out by gymrome! 10: 58 left in the match!

Y3F7 just hit dking with a big leg drop, but instead of going for the cover, he decides to inflict more pain on dking as he goes UFC on him with stiff lefts & rights, and a nasty headbutt right to the skull! Fbkid slides between the legs of Reignblood and dropkicks him in the back. Reign goes flying between the ropes and out of the ring! Bwsmith looks nervous, as he tries to rake the Kid’s eyes. But the Kid leaps onto the top rope to avoid it! What athleticism! Smith leaps up right after him and OH MY GOD!!! In one smooth motion, bwsmith leaped up, but Fbkid caught him and hit a belly to belly overhead throw, sending smith out of the ring! A “Holy Shit!” chant is going strong! What a move! Fbkid is celebrating, but doesn’t see dking97 who has fought his way out of the UFC brazen Y3F7, and is springboarding off the middle rope and Oh my! He went for a reverse DDT, but used Fbkid’s attempt to counter to flip him over onto his shoulder and drops him with a stunner! Here’s the cover, 1-2-3! Wow! Dking97 has the “special contract” with 7:32 left in the Job Hunt!

Here comes Reignblood, and he’s brought an equalizer! A steel chair is in his hands, and he’s swinging at anything that by God moves! There’s one to Y3F7! Another to dking97! Flattens Fbkid15! Reign is really laying into Y3F7 with that chair! Perhaps beating some respect into him as well? Reign throws the chair down, and has Y3F7 in a Military Press, which he transitions into a running powerslam! He goes for the cover, 1-2-3! Reignblood has that “special contract!” Bam! Bwsmith came out of nowhere and hit Reign with the Game Changer (a super kick)! Cover, 1-2-3! Chalk up bwsmith25 with the “special contract!” We have 6:01 left on the time clock!

Small Package roll up by dking on bwsmith! 1-2, but gymrome breaks it up! Hey, Reign has Y3F7 locked in a Camel Clutch! If he taps out, Reign may save his job. Y3F7 is reaching for the ropes, but he won’t have to as gymrome dropkicks Reign to break the hold! Fbkid is back to his feet with 5:03 left, and he springs off the middle rope and connects with an enzuguri kick on gymrome! Reign has had enough of gymrome, and he whips him hard into the corner. Reign comes at him full speed and hits a big Stinger Splash! Gym stumbles out of the corner and flops flat on his face. I wonder if he’s a Ric Flair fan? Fbkid is outside the ring, and he’s setting up a table! What in the world does he intend to do with that? Now he’s got another one! He’s stacked the second table on top of the first! Fbkid is on the top rope and he’s gonna fly! What a headbutt off the top, shades of the Dynamite Kid! And gymrome is going to be feeling that one in the morning! There’s 4:01 left, and it’s getting crazy! There’s bwsmith, and he hits dking with a running knee lift. I think I saw a tooth fly out of his mouth! Here comes Fbkid, and he clotheslines smith over the top and out to the floor, but his own momentum took Kid over with him! Y3F7 is back to his feet now, and he has dking and hits him with a Death Valley Driver! Oh my! He should really go for a cover here, but instead, he kicks dking hard in the back. Wow! Reignblood just speared Y3F7 right out of his boots! Here’s the cover, 1-2-3! Reignblood has the “special contract” once again! And just in time, as we hit the two minute warning!

This has been chaos since the opening bell, and gymrome has taken the brunt of the beatings. He sneaks up behind Reign and there’s a beautiful German Suplex. Nicely done there. He follows it with a leg drop. He goes for the cover, but Reign kicks out at two. Here comes dking as he drops both men as they get to their feet, with a double clothesline! Dking wants Reign, and he chops him! Another! A third chop! Woo! And there’s a neckbreaker! Gymrome comes after Reign and hits a sick fist drop! Dking is taking exception to that, and they are jawing. Dking shoves him! What the hell? Fbkid came out of nowhere and took down both men with a Double Front Dropkick! Wow! I thought he was done! He’s out on the apron near those tables waiting for Reign to get up. Reign is to his feet, and Fbkid springs in, but Reign catches him in mid-air by the throat and Oh no! He just chokeslammed Fbkid out of the ring, right through those double-stacked tables! Good lord! We have 59 seconds left in the match! Game Changer! Boom! Bwsmith does it again, this time on dking as he gets to his feet! Cover, 1-2, but Reign breaks it up with an elbow drop! 43 seconds to go! Reign has smith up and there it is! His signature move, the Black Hole Slam (a pulling sideslam)! Y3F7 is right behind Reign, and Damn! A Low Blow floors Reign! Come on! At least win with some dignity you cowardly piece of crap! Why isn’t Y3F7 going for the cover? Gymrome doesn’t care as he slaps Y3F7 right in the mouth! Y3F7 is smiling? What? Dking comes charging in, and bulldogs Y3F7 face-first into the mat! Gym & dking are standing toe-to-toe. What a wicked spinebuster by gymrome! But here comes bwsmith! Game Changer, no, countered by gymrome as he pushes smith hard to the mat! There’s 10 seconds left! Stunner! Y3F7 hit the Stunner on gymrome! 5 seconds! Gym landed on top of the still down dking! 1 (4 seconds)- 2 (3 seconds)- 3! With 2 seconds left! 1! Bell rings! It’s over! Oh my! What a match! Gymrome has survived the Job Hunt, and will still be punching the time clock! But who will find themself on the unemployment line?

Winner- gymrome

(Paul comes out on stage, as the camera pans over the broken bodies littered around the ring, including Fbkid still lying in the debris of the two tables.)

Paul: Well, that was a fun match. You guys fought desperately for that “special contract.” And gymrome, you came out on top. You know, you were the last man from EBW eliminated in the Bloggers’ Rumble match. I was hoping you would come out on top so that I could brag about how great you are, and it’s because of EBW you did what you did. But, you failed. You failed me! And that’s unacceptable! That “contract” you fought for, was a pink slip! Gymrome, YOU’RE FIRED!!!

Joe: WHAT?! This is so not cool. He just fired this man, who gave everything he had to win in front of our great fans! What kind of match was this? Some sort of set-up? Gym is waving to the fans as tears fill his eyes. And this capacity crowd is giving him the standing ovation he deserves! Our fans, unlike our GM, know what true talent looks like!

(Gym is turning to say goodbye to the fans once last time.)

Paul: Just kidding. You’re not fired.

Joe: What is this, some sort of sick joke? I don’t know what he’s doing, but I’m glad gym’s not fired. Poor gym is about to collapse in torture. Y3F7 is passing by him laughing. Now I get why Y3F7 never went for a cover in the match; he was in on it the whole time! Damn these Agents of Chaos! Gym is pissed, but in a show of locker room solidarity, Reignblood & dking97 are about to tear Y3F7’s head off! He makes a run to the locker room, with dking & gymrome in hot pursuit! Reignblood is still at ringside, and he is helping Fbkid to his feet. Kid doesn’t know where he’s at, as Reign helps carry him to the back. There’s a nice show of sportsmanship; even after a brutal war he’s showing respect to a man who coming into this had never fought on UnCut, but tonight has made a name in the Land of Extreme!

Paul (laughing): You know what, gym? Get the hell out of my arena! You’re fired!

Joe: This is disgusting! The GM is toying with one of the biggest stars in EBW and has fired him for winning a match? Does that make sense to anyone? Gym is being given a huge ovation by the fans who do not want to see him leave Extreme Blog Wrestling. Hell, he may be the only sane one of us left if Paul has his way! Or perhaps the taunting of his employment in EBW could drive even the great gymrome insane. This sucks. Gymrome, good luck.

(Commercial: The college football intellectual 3peatTrojans is writing one of the hottest blogs on the net! Come check out the Broken Facemask, home to BWE's newest superstar!)

(Commercial: What is in store for BWE Throwdown! as the aftermath of an unforgettable Bloggers' Rumble hits? What will the Bloggers' Rumble winner, mojomike have to say regarding his guaranteed championship match at No Recovery? Will he stay with BWE to challenge the first BWE Heavyweight Champion morrisseyweb, or will he jump ship and face the EBW Heavyweight Champion guardian of the galaxy? All that and more, coming soon to BWE Throwdown!)

Joe: Welcome back and it is Main Event time on EBW UnCut! I can't imagine the GM is happy that 3peatTrojans bought advertising time here on UnCut after what happened when the GM tried to sign him to UnCut. Now what? Our GM is on his way out to the ring again. Haven’t we seen enough of him tonight? Oh joy, he’s joining me on commentary.

(Paul grabs a headset and a seat next to Joe.)

Paul: Great night tonight, huh?
Joe: Are you serious?
Paul: Serious? No, I gave up on that a long time ago. Haven’t I already answered that question once tonight?
Joe: I should probably mention to our fans that you and I have been best friends for longer than I can remember. You know, I’ve never seen you like this. How are you feeling?
Paul: I feel good. I have complete control. Watch the little puppets dance.
Joe: Um…Okay. I should ask you about this match you’ve signed, but I’m a little afraid to.
Paul: Fear is one of the few things in life that we have no control over.
Joe (Sarcastically): Thanks, that really clears things up.

Ring Announcer (Reluctantly): This contest is our Main Event, and it is an intergender match. If Lester’s Legends wins, he will earn an EBW Heavyweight Championship at the PFV spectacular No Recovery! If miatay wins or lays down for the pin, Lester will never receive another title shot.
Introducing first, the newest EBW diva, originally from the Philippines and now residing in the United States, here is miatay!

(Mia nervously makes her way to the ring, unsure of what’s to come. She gets a huge ovation from the crowd as she makes her EBW debut.)

Ring Announcer: And introducing her opponent. From Minnesota, here is the man, the myth, the Lester’s Legends!

(Huge pop for Lester as he makes his way to the ring. At ringside, he stands next to the announce table and gives the GM a look of disgust.)

Convoluted Gimmick Match:
miatay vs. Lester’s Legends

Joe: Paul, are you out of your mind?! You’re really going to let this match happen?!
Paul: Why? Would you like to take miatay’s place?
Joe: Ex-squeeze me? No, I just don’t think you understand what you’re doing. You can't justify this match!
Paul: Funny, I didn’t realize when I hired you that I was getting a political advisor. Just call the match.
Joe: This isn’t a match! It’s not even entertainment! This is just wrong! You can’t have a woman and a man fight each other!
Paul: Why not?
Joe: Why not? What is the point of this?
Paul: The point is there is no point. Hey, there’s the bell!
Joe: I can’t even imagine what we are about to see here. The ref is telling these two to lock up and fight, but even the ref is looking over at the announce table at the GM trying to make sense of this. I… it… uh...I can’t begin to explain this. Lester is saying something to miatay, and Lester just glanced over briefly at the GM. Lester is coming out here to the announce table, and he’s asking for a microphone.

Lester: Paul, you want me to prove a point tonight, right? Well, I can’t do that unless you make this match Extreme Rules. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to send a message that can’t be ignored!
Paul: All it took was a little push. Lester, you’ve got your Extreme Rules match!
Lester: And of course that means anybody who is ringside for the match is fair game. If I want to pin miatay on top of that fat guy up in the cheap seats, I can. If little miss Paris Hilton in the luxury box says something I don’t like, I can pop her ass like a pimple!
Paul: Of course! Just make sure the message is loud and clear.
(Lester has picked up a steel chair from ringside.)
Lester: Oh don’t worry about that. I guarantee this message will be crystal clear!

Joe: Holy crap! Lester just whacked the GM with that steel chair! Lester is laying into the GM with that chair just inches from where I’m sitting! There’s a quick kick to the gut in between chair shots, and the GM is paying for his decisions here tonight and over the past months! Miatay is climbing out of the ring, and Lester is calling for her to come over. He’s handing her the chair and telling her to “express her displeasure with the GM!” The GM is being dragged to his feet and Wham! An Albert Pujols- like chair shot from the St. Louis Cardinals’ fan miatay! She hands back the chair to Lester and she is going to head to the back.

Lester is sending a clear message here as he relentlessly attacks the General Manager! Lester is not through and he is dragging Paul into the ring! Lester is setting up for it, and he hits his Legends’ Elbow! And here comes trouble. The Agents of Chaos are slowly making their way to the ring. The EBW Heavyweight Champion guardian of the galaxy, the new BWE Women’s Champion soadrules, and the man who dominated a good portion of the Bloggers’ Rumble match Yankees3Fan7. Lots of gold and accolades in such a small group. Hey wait! Guardian has miatay in a headlock as he makes his way to the ring! This could explode as the three surround the ring. But Lester still has the chair! This is a freaking Mexican Standoff! Guardian has asked for a microphone.

gotg: You know, Lester, I’d hate for anything bad to happen to miatay. (Plucks a single hair from her hair.) Like what happened to detroitsports? You remember what happened to him, don’t you? Well, I don’t want to see that happen to this beautiful Flipina, but you are forcing us to do something we won’t regret.

(Guardian releases the choke like hold on miatay, but Y3F7 grabs her from behind to keep her from running. Lester kicks the GM in the head.)

gotg: We will hurt her, causing unimaginable pain and we will make you watch as you stand there, helpless to save her. Or, you could stop attacking the GM and we will release her to you. What’s it going to be, Lester?

Joe: What kind of sick people are these Agents of Chaos? This is deeply disturbing. Lester is kicking Paul out of the ring, under the bottom rope as he falls at the feet of the Agents of Chaos. Now, they will let miatay go.

gotg: On second thought, we’re going to make her suffer.

Joe: Oh dear God, no! Guardian laid out miatay with a DDT on the concrete! This needs to stop, NOW! No, don’t do this! Guardian is telling soadrules to position mia in front of the steel ring steps. No guardian! Think about what you’re doing! Lester is trying to stop him, but Y3F7 is right there standing guard. There’s nothing Lester can do! Someone needs to get out here and stop this! Oh no! Guardian just ran right up to mia and kicked her head into the steel steps! Oh you no good bastard! This is disgusting! Oh no, mia’s bleeding from the back of her head! Something needs to be done! Lester is getting very pissed off pacing in the ring as he can’t do anything to defend miatay. Guardian is standing over mia, with one foot on her back as he holds the EBW Heavyweight Title in the air. Is this how we’re going to end the show, with this crap?

Joe: WTH? The lights are malfunctioning in the 3SM. The strobe lights are flashing all over, as are various colors of light. The lights have gone dark in the arena, as a single red spotlight shines on the EBW Heavyweight Champion. The E-Screen is heavily malfunctioning as well, as it flashes various colors before settling on red once again. The screen appears to be…bleeding? Oh my! An explosion on the stage! The stage is literally on fire! There’s something rising through the fire! What is that? Oh my God! Rising from the ashes once again, it’s The_Phoenix!!! This building has erupted as the fans are on their feet! Guardian looks like he has seen a ghost and is standing completely still! Phoenix is pointing at guardian as the Champion stares in shock! What does this mean for Extreme Blog Wrestling?

~©~ Copyright 2008. EBW is copyrighted by BWE Promotions. EBW is a brand of Blog Wrestling Entertainment. Any reproduction of this blogcast without the express written consent of BWE Promotions and Extreme Blog Wrestling is prohibited.

Written by Paul Huffaker. Special thanks to members of the Creative team: David Funk & detroitsports for their ideas and contributions!

EBW is Back!

For the first time on the new site, Extreme Blog Wrestling is coming to you live! Join us at the 3rdStone Monument (3SM) in the nation's capital, Washington DC! This Tuesday, October 28th! The topic of discussion in the locker room has been the mental status of the General Manager Paul Huffaker. Many in the locker room have questioned the GM since he attacked the Management Director detroitsports at the BWE/EBW Draft Show. Since that time, the GM has stayed out of the public eye. He has made two exceptions, both of which are in a collision course for UnCut!

The newly signed "Extreme Playa" bwsmith made quite the impression at the Press Conference announcing his signing, as he was quoted as telling his friends that until BWE or EBW put together a good offer, it would be "no contract, no contact." He now says he is ready to change the face of EBW, and he is going to start at 3SM. What can we expect from the "Extreme Playa?"

Once the deal with bwsmith was done, our EBW X-News crew did its job in trying to break the news to the world. Unfortunately, that came with a price, as the man who first reported the story, Shawn Schrager, was fired from the company by the GM. He has since hired a new announcer for EBW UnCut who will make his announcing debut this Tuesday! What kind of bias will Joe Payne have at the announcer's desk, and why did the GM hire him so quickly?

Another of the EBW GM's encounters came at the Broken Facemask, where he along with the BWE CEO David Funk talked college football with the man known as 3peatTrojans. Afterwards, both executives attempted to sign the hottest free agent on the market to their respective show. 3peat pulled Paul's strings and acted like he was signing with EBW before signing with BWE. Paul was furious and claimed he would "make sure 3peat never sets foot in a BWE ring." Since that proclamation, we have not heard from any of the three men. Did Paul succeed or is 3peat training for his first match in BWE in nearly a year?

To be honest, we hear at EBW X-News are unsure what to expect in Washington DC. Normally, we are given a general idea of the matches, and who is expected to speak in the ring. However, we were sent three e-mails from the GM. The first, is a link to that freaking episode of Family Guy with the Surfin' Bird song from The Trashmen. (And really, that's all we've watched since we got that link! Awesome!). Second, we have a list of powerful world leaders. And finally, we have a list of knock knock jokes. Admittedly, the first two have been the most amusing in the office, but we were deeply disturbed by some of the names on this list. Is the GM really going insane, or has someone hacked his e-mail address?

The answers to these, and other questions, plus all the fallout from the BWE PFV Bloggers' Rumble, are coming this Tuesday! We hope you will join us for what should be an unpredictable night of Extreme Blog Wrestling at the 3rdStone Monument!

3peatTrojans Signs With BWE Throwdown! Brand

Santa Ana, CA(AB)-Tim, aka 3peatTrojans from Sporting News, has signed a contract with BWE Promotions on the Throwdown! brand. He originally had a choice between Throwdown! and EBW UnCut. He also had some comments about his signing.

To see how this unfolded on Broken Facemask, click the link below:

Talking CFB with BSF & wwefreak

3peatTrojans is officially a member of BWE Throwdown! brand after the contract was signed on Friday.

BWE & EBW to appear on Broken Facemask

Santa Ana, CA(AB)-BWE CEO David Funk and EBW General Manager Paul Huffaker will be guests on the Broken Facemask this week to answer questions about college football and some of the week's best matchups.

Reportedly, 3peatTrojans has said he will sign a contract with BWE Promotions on that show. Whether 3peat decides to sign with BWE Throwdown! or EBW UnCut remains unclear. Attempts to reach him by phone or e-mail have went unanswered.

Tim, aka 3peatTrojans, last appeared in BWE Promotions at the March PFV Season's Beatings!

3peat has said recently that he's eager to join BWE Promotions, and is looking forward to getting back in the ring. He's a fan of full contact sports, and he has used that background when he was previously in BWE Promotions.

Neither the BWE CEO or EBW GM were available for comment on this - only to say that they'll appear on the Broken Facemask.

The California resident hasn't made any indication whatsoever on what brand he'll sign on with since expressing interest in returning to BWE Promotions.

Regardless of what brand 3peat signs with, he's another member in a long line of Sporting News bloggers who will officially be part of BWE Promotions this week.